Officially southern!!

Okay...so I believe its official...I have been initated into the southern lifestyle. I have taken part in frying a turkey. Until I moved to georgia I had no idea that people did such things. And well in the south they will fry just about anything (my brother in law...wanted to fry his t-shirt to justify this statemtent), So i had a great thanksgiving with 4 other families that are friends of my sister. There were 12 children 9 were boys all around 11 years old. And we were all camping at Indian springs state park (its south of macon). I have attached pictures of the turkeys and our spread of food as well as other amuzing photos.

I also was able to see some former students of mine from the university of Portland. we met in savannah and enjoyed each others company and forsyth park( those are the pics on top). All in all it was a great turkey day..and i have a lot to be thankful for.

Pick up the line....

so I recently went on retreat with a group of high school kids and I thought I would post some pics from my weekend....I love a weekend full of jesus...it rocks....Our theme was Pick up the line...and we had a beautiful time...

unquestionable faith...

Its been a crazy couple of weeks for me!! The people who I consider family here in Georgia are struggling with Life threatening illness, Rehabilitation from a major stroke at the young age of 47, infidelity after 15+ years of marriage, biopsy's, etc. In this time...my car decided to stop working properly (due to computer malfunctions) and it took almost 10 days(and about 1000$) to get it back in my possession in working condition. Through this emotionally exhausting time...I have had my own struggles with which to deal with and tons of tests to which I need to study. Lets just say...I am hitting the end of my rope...and the long awaited fall break is something I can not wait to experience.
In light of the craziness of my third semester of graduate school...I have come to realize one thing....one truly important thing. That " I am not...at all ...in control...of my life." Much of what has happened around me to friends and family...has come to people that are so undeserving of such trials and tribulations. The explanations of the "what"(which would be the WHY) are unaccounted for and ultimately only understood my God. I believe I have finally given over all the external stuff to MY GOD. Which is a great...and scary move for me to make. I always want to fix everything.
In my process of looking inward I have found many internal struggles that I have yet to deal with on a personal level. Its scares me to think that I have gone almost 30 years and truly can not explain to the depths of my heart who I am and who i am called to be. While I must say that its not the identity crisis one has as an adolescent, it is scrapping at the core of not only my emotions, but my spirituality, my physicality, and my intellectual well being.
I don't want to scare...or over analyze myself on paper. I do want those who read this to know that I feel a great awakening is about to start its rise to the surface. It will not happen over night....but its process will take time.
Goodness I have just said a mouth full without saying much at all. I am sorry or the ambiguity, but I am not sure I could articulate or verbalize all thats in my head and make it coherent enough for you all to ponder. But what I will say is...Please pray...Pray for honesty of heart and mind....for openness of grace, hope, peace. I need to remember that All that is good and gracious

Hopefully the next time I write...I will have more to write about...if not maybe I will just update you on my Car ;).


in my life is at my center which is Godly.

the hummm of daily existence

Funny how the day to day creeps up and takes hold of your existence. How paths cross and grow not because of what you do, but because of where you are at, what you have to get done. As of this recent week...i am feeling the stress of taking 18 hours as a graduate student, teaching 4 classes for the university and trying to have time for myself. I often wonder what i miss in my day to day existence because of the time crunch and scheduling conflicts. What gifts have I overlooked and how have i been neglectful of gods grace in my life. I wanted to spend more time listening this fall ..and find my place with a more established relationship with my god than i have had in the past. A relationship that calls me to a deeper more revealing conversations. But what i have found is the frustration of being consumed by my humanness.

While my spiritual struggles often take hold of my limited spare time...I am finding much success within my education endeavors. Gods path for me is really being paved before me. that my success in the classroom and the acknowledgement from my professors has confirmed that I have chosen a great program and I am finding great joy in becoming an educator.

For those of you who read this....and I am not sure who does....or if anyone does...I have a opportunity that needs some prayer. My advisor has approached me with the opportunity to teach in a outpatient facility for at risk youth. These young men have all been mandated by the courts system to a program that is in Walton county. They are looking for someone to come in about 3 hours a week and work with these kids in a physical education setting. The opportunity for me is to use a teaching model call "teaching personal and social responsibility (TPSR)". It was created by a man named Don Hellison. The model uses sport and physical activity as mode to teach personal and social responsibility. You could think of it as "empowering sport".

Many of you know that I spent my year of volunteer service teaching at risk youth in a classroom setting. So i have experience with this demographic...but...not in a Physical educational setting. I have lots of questions to ask the program director...and well..lets just say...I am excited about the possibilities and the learning curve. This is still in the "conversation stage"...but has some great possibilities. Obviously i am nervous about adding another item to my duties, but i don't want to say no to such a great opportunity.

well I guess i have said enough...

fun news

Well...i am officially two weeks into my 3rd semester of graduate school!! I am excited about the classes I am teaching and I am enjoying my students. My classes are going well...just very busy. Today My Health ed professor pulled me aside and wanted to chat. I was a little worried...but as the conversation progressed...I learned that he wanted me to TA for this class I was in. Its one of the undergraduate courses that I am taking for my certification and he feels that I would benefit by being more integrated with the material of the course. I was taken aback at his offer....and well quite flattered by the proposition. I would be more of his assistant to the undergrads than just another grad student taking his class. So on top of everything else I have to do....I am going to rise to the challenge. I am excited and nervous...but that is what education is about...taking chances...walking through the open doors...and seeing what happens on the other end. :)

Chaos theroy...

up...its that time of year....when chaos starts to take over...and we just run on fumes....crazy isn't it. What we will do to our selves to get what we need done. As for the next 10 months I will officially be in my second year of graduate school at the university of Georgia. I am excited to be a graduate assistant and be teaching some undergraduate classes. But it will make my life that much more chaotic. I am looking forward to the experience and getting to know the students as well as exploring new classes. So if I don't post and update....remind me to get back to my updates...

Nurishment.....

There are times in life where I often forget that I am not the only person in the room. When conversations lead me to another world. Recently, I went on a ladies weekend with about 9 other women from my church. I was definitely the youngest by at least 10 years. Okay so you are probably wondering how this all connects. Well...I felt surrounded....completely surrounded by wisdom, hope, grace, and above all love. Before me were 10 women who's experience when calculated together makes me look like and infant. All of them were mothers, all of them were at least married 15 years, all of them were involved in my parish in flowery branch, all of them took very different paths in life. There was the business owner, stay at home mom, Administrative assistant, An educator with a PH.D, and a nurse. As I began to realize the beauty to which I was amongst...it made me gasp. So I sat and I listened, and ate, and drank, and listened. I listened so much that I was quite consumed when the weekend was over. Now don't get me wrong these ladies were all there for a good time. So there were moments, when Veggies became flying objects, there were shenanigans on jet skies, and wine was flowing freely and giggling pursued without hesitation. They started to refer to me as the baby. I would just smile and nod.....

With all this nourishment around me for 24 hours on lake lanier I left exhausted. As I was sitting there listening....I moved to that other world I spoke of in the beginning of this blog...

I found myself wondering how many opportunities as people do we pass up to learn from those who have done it before. Or how many people never think to ask questions of those who have walked before us, and how often our pride gets in the way of asking for wisdom. How many people today discount those in society that have come before us and need our care. Why? Why? Do we discount their wisdom, grace, and godly gifts? How is it that we do not show respect for what they have to offer? It frustrates and confounds my spirit to think that elders are treated this way, left to be alone or disrespected!

While On my weekend, I believe I came to realize how much wisdom I have been surrounded with. I hope that others look to seek those in there community that have wisdom to offer. spend time with those you respect and love, enjoy there company...you never know what you can learn by just being present to another person.

For now...I thank God for these ladies. Their Guidance has been a gift in my life. I hope that they realize the gifts that they are..and what they offer the world. For I am blessed because our lives have crossed.

The day the lord hath made :)

Okay so my birthday was wednesday and it was low key but fabulous in many ways...so i need to share with all of you... my top ten.

Top TEN Reasons Why July 11th 2007 was so Fabulous.

10. I was awakened by my mom with an I love you birthday girl.

9. Before I went to work I had 5 birthday phone calls.

8. My e-mail exploded with birthday love all day long.

7. I saw Harry Potter at midnight with 4 great friends.

6. My sister made lasagna, salad, garlic bread, and purchase the infamous Coulombe birthday cake from Dairy Queen.

5. One of my great friend Betsy called and had her three boys sing happy birthday to me...while working in the mana mana song from the Muppet show. *classic moment b/c I had just introduce them to the every amazing Muppet's*

4. My sister served the dairy queen cake even though it had flown off her seat while driving and smashed on the floor. (it was a great tasting cake...just a bit lopsided)

3. My nephews Jacob and josh, said I was the best aunt ever b/c i enjoy being a kid with them and I am not afraid of being crazy.

2. My niece Abbey said that she loves me because i can always make her smile and b/c she loves my sense of humor.

1. With all the simple things that happened on my birthday...I was humbled by Gods ever loving grace, peace, hope and love.


so many thanks and prayers go out to all those who love and bless me not only on my birthday but daily. You are all so important in my humble existence and you make life that much more enjoyable.

love ya.

In hot pursuit....

In light of some recent developments...I am finding myself with lots of time to think...ponder...and transform. We as human beings are often always in pursuit. The pursuit of happiness, a better job, a new partner, a better relationship with God. The pursuit is always and external movement to the hopes of some form of positive change. My question is why are our pursuits so external...why so often do we look outside ourselves for the positive change we need in our lives. When in effect we need to allow ourselves the opportunity to listen and pursue our own hearts. Even better, we need to let God pursue our own hearts. By this I do not mean that I need to let Jesus do all the work in this relationship, but at the center of all that is good in my life is my heart. God gave me a heart large enough to share, so full of compassion and gifts it is my biggest fault and the biggest gift I have to offer the world. But I have been in such a rush to share it with, give it to, hide it from, that I have been to busy to listen to it. In this gift i have recieved is where God will ultimately pursue me, love me, honor his promises to me, bless me, grace me, and ultimately challenge me.

But....here it is...the connection....inorder to allow God to be in Hot Pursuit of the love of his life...(me, or Us)....I need to be okay with that aloneness. The idea that in my silence and the whole of who I am...where no one else can be...there is where God will rest. There is where He will ultimately pursue me.

alone

loneliness....its something I struggle with...and its not just on one plain. To me its complex...the only heart that I truly understand and struggle with is my own. In my search for more I am driven back to my center. Where there is just me, alone with my thoughts, feelings and words. In moments where all the friends and family in the world could not make a difference. The silence i find in moments like this can be saddening and cause true pain. Pain that I have trouble expressing. It doesn't make me ill or make me depressed just perplexed and then saddened. I often wonder if others feel this type of loneliness. If they sometimes feel isolated, not by others...but by ones own thoughts. The need I feel for relationship is true, real, and deep. But how is one to find relationship with others and with God, when the one true relationship i am struggling with it seems.....is my own. Does anyone else see this problem...or does anyone else find fear in these thoughts. I am just wondering. I am not sure anyone reads these...but if you do...no worries...just thinking out loud. Wondering if the loneliness that can consume me in a crowded room...taunts anyone else.

Sun,Sand, Fun

Vacation....

one little word that means a lot. I have just spent 4 days on "vacation" in St. Augustine Florida with a dear friend and former student of mine, jessica. First..I must say that St. Aug. is a great little city with a lot to offer the tourist. I found it interesting, warm, and inviting. I needed to have this time to refresh, and jump start myself before the summer of work. This year has been wonderful, but at times has been difficult. The constant push in grad school coupled with having to work every weekend really wore me down. I haven't thought much about myself or anything else outside of school in over a year. So leaving after finals to see an old friend and enjoy the beach was absolutely awesome.

At times I found myself just loving the idea of not having anything to do. Being away from the day to day grind and loosing yourself in a new place is exciting. The cool thing about going to visit jess...was I was able to meet her friends and see her in a new setting. When I met her at the university of Portland she was a student and I was a staff member of the university. It was great to talk of people we both new and here how everyone was doing.

What was pivotal for me over this vacation, was my ability to just relax. I made a new friend, enjoyed the growth of the old friendships...I am excited about doing it again...i can't wait to loose myself in florida...and leave Georgia behind. What I gained......well....here it is short and sweet...

I would love for people to realize the importance of being okay by themselves. I really enjoyed seeing jess, meeting her friends, and seeing a new place. But what i gained from this experience was being able to just enjoy the moments what ever they were...and allow myself to grow from them.

statement of purpose....on life...as we know it

its been a while since i have written, and well ...school has a tendency to take over my life. With all of that being said....My mood right now is peace. In light of all the violence that we have been inflicted with over the past couple of days....I still feel peace. I find this peace in my time and space where I can be alone with my thoughts and my God. It comforts me to think that these people who we have loved and lost are all with our God. That they have found peace in there suffering, what troubles me is the suffering of the many that have been injured. Not just physically, but emotionally. The students, faculty, and staff at Virginia Tech all have much grieving to make it through. As a nation we watch from a far as those we don't know deal with tragedy and lost. We watch as the media overloads us with images of violence and fear. It will be difficult, it will be long, and it will change the way many think about there day to day lives.

if we are to learn anything from this, is to heed the warning signs, pay attention to those who give cries for help. Express love and thankfulness to all that you meet. And above all, share your love to those in your family and friends. we all know that time is precious and that we are not in control, so give to God was is his, take nothing as yours to have, may it all be for his glory and his kingdom. Amen

Welcome to 2007

So its a new year...and well...a new semester. This is all exciting and overwelhming all at once. Six new classes(yes...i did say six, and no I am not crazy...just want to get it done) and it starts all over again. This semester should bring some fun events. I get to spend some quality time with some elementary kids for one of my practicums, my best guy friend since 7th grade is getting married, a couple of friends are having babies, and well when its all done...I will be almost half way through my masters degree. So this is just what I know of...the unknown is what keeps me smiling everyday...and looking forward to the weeks ahead.

So as your adventure begins in 2007...stay awake...keep smiling...and enjoy the ride...for there is much to be had, seen, done, and learned.